I just got back from my first trip to an all-inclusive resort, and I actually really enjoyed the experience. Aside from taking in the sun and sand, I also learned a lot about the different people you'll find at nearly every all-inclusive resort. Here are my researched and field-tested findings.
1. The gaggle of drunk twentysomething and thirtysomethings
Over-indulging at an all-inclusive resort is easy to do. Why? Well, waiters and bartenders ask you if you'd like something to drink at nine in the morning (I haven't had my coffee yet so I'll take that with some Kahlua, please). In other words, by the time noon rolls around, half the resort is blitzed and ready for an afternoon nap. Or they keep rallying and play an annoyingly loud drinking game while I'm trying to enjoy the sounds of the waves in peace!
2. The couple constantly at the buffet
You're in paradise. Get out of the three-star buffet restaurant and enjoy the resort! I don't understand why people travel to paradise and then spend 85 percent of their time eating. This won't be your last meal. And hopefully, you're still aiming to fit into your bathing suit later on in the afternoon!
3. The PDA couple
There are always a handful of couples looking to reignite the flame of their 20+ years of marriage. Please, for the sake of everyone around you, don't achieve that goal on the public beach! We all know what closing your cabana curtains means (and we can all still hear you).
4. The parents who don't look after their kids
Just because you're on vacation, doesn't mean your children will behave like little angels. On the contrary, they're running around, screaming, kicking up sand, and annoying everyone around them. On vacation, my personal bubble expands, and if any screaming child comes within 10 feet of my towel or beach bed, I am not a happy vacationer. If there was ever a time for child leashes, it's at an all-inclusive resort.
5. The professional resort hoppers
These experts know all there is to know about your resort (they've been going three times a year for 10 years, after all). They find the need to share their insider tips with you about what restaurants you should go to, which beaches are the best, and who is their favorite staffer – even if you don't care.
Any people who didn't make the list? Tell us about them below!