SkyMall Tuesday: Beer Can Shorts

by  Mike Barish | Jul 17, 2012
Shopping / Watcharin panyawutso/iStock

Summer is a time for pool parties, beach bashes, and backyard barbecues. What do all three of those have in common (other than awesome alliteration)? Beer. Hot sunny days and muggy summer nights are perfect for a cold one. But what happens when you're also holding a hamburger, a hot dog, a wiffle ball bat, a water gun, an ice cream cone, and a tube of sunscreen in your sweaty hands? Where do you keep your beer (or your backup beer in case your current can or bottle finds itself tragically empty)? You can't be expected to trudge all the way back to the cooler or refrigerator to procure another beverage. You really shouldn't be overexerting yourself in the heat! Thankfully, SkyMall knows that you need to have another beer ready at a moment's notice (and that carrying one in a holster is just plain gauche). If you're going to party at the SkyMall Tuesday headquarters this summer, you better be packing heat cold. Keep your legs cool and your beer handy in a handsome pair of Beer Can Shorts.

Technically, these are Beverage/Beer Can Shorts, but that's just lame. These are Beer Can Shorts, and they need to own that name. With a dedicated pocket for your next beer, these shorts are ready to party. They even have a cell phone pocket, which will come in handy when everyone is calling you to find out where the sweet fiesta is. Just imagine the look on your bros faces when they see that beer cradling your thigh.

Think that keeping a beer in your pocket will just cause it to get warm? Believe that condensation from a cold beer bottle will make your shorts wet? Well, while you carry around your rosé spritzer in a wine glass holder necklace, we'll be reading the product description:

Not just a frame of mind, Beer Can Island is a place on the map. Sandwiched between the Intracoastal Waterway and the Atlantic Ocean in Miami Beach, Florida USA, travelers rendezvous at Beer Can Island and barbecue, swim and tell jokes. This short captures the essence of all the good times experienced by so many travelers over so many years on this rock in the middle of the bay.

That's an interesting combination of words that required me to Google very many things. It appears that Beer Can Island is also known as Sandspur Island. I think. I also came across references to Haulover Sandbar. If you or someone you love knows more about Miami's Beer Can Island, please do let me know in the comments. Regardless, I want to go to any island that is famous for its joke-telling.

Whether you're on an island or in your backyard, make sure that your beer is in your pocket. Throw a hot dog in there while you're at it. You dont want to drink on an empty stomach.

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