Five Reasons Why I Hate Flying With People

Since we're being open and honest here, I have a confession: I'm a pretty demanding travel companion. I want to get to the airport on time (but definitely not too early); I follow the rules and take my belt and shoes off and always take my toiletries and laptop out at security; but most importantly, I just want to get to my gate quickly (though I'm generally okay with a quick stop to grab some airport comfort food). Here are some reasons why I'm not the biggest fan of traveling with friends and family (pets are another story).

1. You take too many bathroom breaks
Who needs to go to the bathroom before and after a two-hour flight? You're either downing too many gin and tonics, waters, and cranberry juices or really need to see a doctor. My nine-month-old puppy can hold it longer than that.

2. You never take out your toiletries
Sure, if the security screeners don't find them in your carry-on bag in the x-ray, you're in luck. But, odds are they will and you'll end up holding me up from getting a prime seat in the airport lounge or a few window seats at the gate (I prefer to spread out before being trapped in a metal tube for hours).

3. You're an armrest monopolizer
I understand you took the middle seat to spare me having to interact with a stranger on the other side (if I'm wearing sunglasses and listening to music, that should signal I'm not in the mood to talk at six in the morning), but that doesn't mean you get to command two entire armrests. You know the system: You can have the front or back part and I'll take the opposite.

4. You forget your ID and passport somewhere
I fully admit that I've done this before – I almost got stuck in Canada one time because I accidentally left my passport at the airport at the beginning of my vacation and didn't realize it until the day before we were flying back to the States. I ended up tracking it down and returning to the hotel for a good night's sleep. What really slows things down though, is when someone drops their passport or ID somewhere in the airport and your travel partner has gone through customs and can't call you because the armed police officers are yelling to get off the phone (I'm past security, there aren't any signs about it [I keep texting and get yelled at again]).

5. You snore (aka a list of other annoying tendencies)
You fall asleep before we even take off (and commence the open-mouthed embarrassing snoring while I shield myself and claim to not be associated with you); you have bony shoulders so the hope of being able to sleep on you is out of the question; you spread your legs out into my leg space because your 'I'm-bigger-than-you' argument kicks in on planes.

Sure, there may be perks (like your offer to carry my bag), but I'm not positive that they outweigh the drawbacks.